Today is May 9th, and that means Happy Piccolo Day! On this day in some alternate universe, Piccolo managed to overthrow the King of our planet (who is a fucking dog mind you) and successfully put the world under his control.
As we all know, today King Piccolo will draw a slip at random, each which has a sector number of the Earth written upon it. Whichever sector gets chosen shall be completely obliterated! Isn’t that fun?
But while we await imminent doom, what better way to kill the time than highlighting why King Piccolo makes such a bad-ass ruler!!
- He is an EVIL SLUG MAN.
- It was one of King Piccolo’s minions who had the honor of being the first of many to lay waste to poor Krillin!!
- Top student in his high school band class!
- Despite being OVER 300 YEARS OLD, King Piccolo manages to retain his youthful appearance with Neutrogena! (He has even been featured in a few commercials!!)
- HE KILLS SHENRON. HE FUCKING KILLS SHENRON. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT.
- King Piccolo has the spectacular ability and willpower to ovulate with a hole through his stomach! How superbly ADMIRABLE!
(Note: this day occurs on May 13th if you’re a dubbie. Feel free to keep up celebrations until then.)